ANXIETY: PANIC, PROCRASTINATION AND BROKEN PROMISES

I’ve gone to write more on anxiety several times now. And by “gone to write”.. I mean I thought about it and kicked myself for not doing it. As stupid as it sounds, one of my biggest barriers I came across was procrastinating about posting my next post. This was due to my last post, promising I would be posting later in the afternoon but unfortunately my day turned to sh*t. So here we are, over 2 months later. I’m sitting here, feeling too anxious to post about anxiousness – haha it’s kind of funny when you think about it.

Procrastination is one of many things I struggle to fight off. Some call it avoidance, laziness or disorganised. I call it a survival tactic. A pretty crappy one though as its only had a negative impact on a number of areas of my life because I’m too scared to face any situation. The thought of talking about certain topics, talking to certain people or facing that I’ve let people down, getting up after I’ve been knocked down again and again and again – feels like it kills me.

People under mind the power of anxiety. It is so taxing on the body, it exhausts me. My heart races, chest tighten, my hands go clammy, my mind starts racing and I drop or trip over everything – more so than my usual clumsy self. I feel like I’m suffocating, like I can’t catch my next breath, like I am being held underwater unable to surface for breath.

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I can’t walk out my front door. But from the outside I look like I’m just running late I don’t give a shit about other peoples plans or feelings.. this is sooo far from the truth and I find myself caught in the same cycle over and over and over.

Yes, I do need to work on my organisation skills, sleeping pattern and the times and places I chose to do things sometimes but lately 9 times out of 10 it’s because I’m suffocating in my own fear. I’m procrastinating and panicking, then planning something over the top to make up for my short comings…. which only makes me later.

Now and then taking a few days off and shutting off from the world is what you need. Anxiety is takes its toll on the body, mind and soul. Sometimes I need to keep my hands so busy that I forget things. I need to before my mind becomes your worst enemy. Often I’m stuck in lose / lose situations.

I am still learning how to conquer anxiety but have found the following helpful so far:

  • Workshops or courses as I’m learning techniques on how to manage my anxiety or counteract my thought process. Learning has helped me substantially and don’t rule out this option if you have found yourself overwhelmed by learning on Google. It’s a totally different experience!
  • Group meet ups and hangouts with the like minded very healing, as I’m around people that suffer what I suffer.
  • Uplifting music, yes, but also music I can relate to as I personally find it comforting as I’m unable to put my feelings into words sometimes. It also feels like company in a way as someone else is feeling how I feel in the song.
  • Also creative activities, as I’m able to express myself visually when I can’t do so verbally. Even if it’s a poorly done painting, that makes no sense to others.

Happy to make recommendations if anyone needs but ALL EARS if anyone has something they would like to suggest in the comments section below! x

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